Today's Apocalypse Sign: Let The Games Begin!

The day is here and as usual I am totally under-prepared. I am having pre-Fiji trip anxiety about packing stuff, missing stuff, repeat. It is bad when both the husband and wife are last minute personalities.

Anyway, this isn't about that...it's about this>>>>>>

The Three Best Games!!!

As I am not an online gamer (otherwise I would be unemployed, stealing Internet from someone, and weigh 400 pounds stuck in an over-sized Barcalounger!) I have no real input on that genre. I liked Doom a lot until I got the immortal cheat code and once you use it the first time, it's like gaming crack. Then I got bored with it and never really got into any other online gaming.

My three are truly my favorites, so let's get started.

FOOSBALL

This game was my shining moment to use all that geometry stuff I learned in high school. I didn't get it right away but when I did, I was unbeatable. Drunk or sober or whatever never mattered. I learned a lot from a friend of mine who was a Vietnam vet and freaked most people out anyway with his demeanor. He and I were an unbeatable team. Money, drinks, other stuff (hey it was the 70's) we never, ever lost. The best challenges were us playing each other in singles or spotting any team a 50% lead. Straight up, never lost. This is one badass game. Side note: Loved to play this to Bob Seger's Get Out Of Denver played over and over on the juke box. Some one had to beat me to get it to stop. At nineteen I was a foosball God.

MONOPOLY

Monopoly is where I learned to be ruthless with money AND property. Nothing short of crushing my opponent and bleeding them dry was satisfactory. Family, friends...didn't matter. I was always the Dog playing piece and that's the way I played...dog on a bone. I remember those times fondly when at family gatherings, the relatives would always divert me in some way so they could start a game without me. That is true family power. I think I developed my negotiating ability through playing this game. Good times.

And finally (it's over already?) the last of my Big Three....

QUARTERS

First of all this original game is played with Jack Daniels Black, a quarter, and a shot glass. The players sit in a circle and take turns bouncing the quarter off the table and attempt to get it in the shot glass filled with Jack. If a player makes the quarter into the shot glass the player to his right drinks the shot, spits out the quarter and the player who made it goes again. If he succeeds in making the quarter three consecutive times, the game reverses and goes to the left...with the original shooter continuing until he misses. Any other version is sissified bullshit. No beer, no whiskey glasses, not a million rules that no one remembers after three shots...just skill and staying power. I have made more people puke playing this game than any person I know.

That's my story and thanks for playing.